Hypersexuality
Not really discussed a whole lot, because when you are in for a your 3 month psychiatric check up, and your doctor asks, "How are things?" it's kind of weird to say, "Well, I kind of can't get enough sex," or "It's been Masturbation City at my house, how are you?" Hypersexuality is a symptom of an elevated manic stated whether it's hypomania or full on mania. My husband gets a tiny bit of enjoyment out of this side of Bipolar disorder. Whatever, giggle or be shocked. It is what it is.
Exaggerations
When I'm manic, everything is magnified a million percent. I find that I exaggerate even mundane things when I'm manic. For example, if my husband says nicely to me, "Sweeeeetie, could you try to put your curling iron on your side of the sink so I can get to my razor?" I see it as, WHOA NOW, let's de-escalate the YELLING. Another example would be me re-telling a story to someone. I could re-tell Moby Dick to someone who'd never read it, and it'd be INSANE!!!. It's not that I'm dishonest or a liar or trying to be deceptive; things are just super exaggerated in my brain and that's how it's processed and comes out when I'm in a manic or hypomanic state. When I'm not in a manic state, everything's normal.
Feeling Like I am Crawling Out of My Own Skin
This is a very strange symptom I have when I am having a mood shift, and it doesn't matter if it's going into a Depressive state or a Manic state. I feel like my insides are roiling and that my organs themselves are trying to claw out of my body. It's almost physical pain sometimes. I know it's psychiatric related because it accompanies other symptoms of Bipolar, and when those symptoms are under control or in remission, the clawing internal pain goes away. I think it's some type of emotional disregulation that is so severe it causes me to feel it very physically. Very odd experience, and I have a hard time describing it. It almost feels like that scene from 'Alien.'
Mixed States
Bipolar Mixed states are super weird. You are depressed and often suicidal, but you have manic energy and racing thoughts. The combination is often lethal for us Bipolar folks because you are having bad thoughts, and the energy and follow-through to carry them out. Mixed states are pretty awful to be in because you get both moods at the same time, and it's super, super strange. I am not sure I can explain it properly to someone who does not have Bipolar. Imagine going sky-diving out of a plane, and you expect to be falling down towards the Earth, but you are sucked up backwards towards the sun instead. Weird, weird, weird.
Stuttering
In hypomanic/manic states, I s-s-stutter a lot as I speak much more quickly than normal, and I have a lot of GREAT ideas I need to get out of my mouth, and they compete with each other. Sometimes people think I'm a bit slow mentally when I am stuttering when in reality my mind is racing at a quadrillion miles an hour.
Cravings for illegal drugs and alcohol
I have never done any type of illegal drugs, not even pot. I don't drink and I don't smoke cigarettes. When I get manic, I want to try street drugs, drink and smoke so bad, it's so strange. My normal self is not interested in those things. Only my manic self. Inhibitions are lowered. I've never acted out on these impulses because I do not surround myself with people who make those types of decisions, and I have a stable and supportive family. My fahter was an alcoholic, as well as numerous members of my immediate family. Something deep down tells me one glance in this direction and I'm done.
Getting Lost in Familiar Surroundings
It could be that I simply get so disorganized while in Bipolar mania or what not, but I sometimes have a really hard time with getting around, even places that are super familiar to me like the grocery store, or work, or a park we frequent. I won't realize I'm lost until I'm driving around, frowning as to why the store is not *here*. This got really bad a few years ago, but with the increasing frequency of cell phones with GPS it's less of an issue. I still have to use GPS almost wherever I go. I don't know if this is a side effect of Bipolar meds, or a symptom of Bipolar or another one of the illnesses I have. It comes and goes. Sometimes I am super sharp and I can give really ordered, accurate directions and my husband stares at me like, WTF? And other times, I am calling him asking him how it could be that the gas station moved. It's almost like a block in my actual brain that I can feel.
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