As many of you with Bipolar Disorder know, unexpected challenges, stress and frustrations are especially hard to bear. I have been very careful this holiday season to place as little stress on myself as possible, except for the taking of a new part-time job (usually, I wouldn't take a job or quit a job during the holidays, but this one seems really great for my needs). My first real day on the job starts tomorrow. One of the main requirements of having this job is having a newer, updated smartphone. My hours are clocked in and out via a custom app, and since a lot of my job entails driving, the phone must have GPS so the office can see exactly where I am at all times, and how long it is taking me to get from point A to point B. This affects my mileage and gas reimbursement. Therefore, having a nice phone in working order is an essential component of this job.
I woke up an hour late this morning, unusual for me since my cell phone doubles as my alarm. I check my phone. I figured the phone had come unplugged during the night, or somehow disconnected from the outlet. Nope, still plugged in. I tried a different outlet, a different cord...phone still dead.
At this point, I am starting to have mild anxiety because it's Sunday and most business are not open very long. I hop on Google. An hour later, nothing has worked. It's nearing 11am and I am starting to have some mood fluctuations and panic attacks. I can't very well tell my boss tomorrow on my first day of work that I can't work because my phone broke unexpectedly. Sure, I could try to buy a cheap phone that is prepaid, but there is no guarantee that it would be up to the standards my company requires. When I was hired, I had to present my phone and have the model approved. Showing up on my first day with a cheap $40 phone would be unprofessional.
I am tenuously holding onto my sanity at this point. Options are racing through my head.
I go to the wireless store where we have our contracts through. My broken phone is relatively new, and still under warranty. I take a breath. BUT, the associate begins to say.
No, nononononononono. No BUTS!
Panic starts again. It's Sunday, he reminds me, and with the holidays approaching, it could take a few days for the company to get me a replacement phone.
I want to cry and rage and I barely keep myself together.
The nice associate checks inventory. Even though my expensive, broken phone is less than a year old, it is no longer being made. No one has any in stock. He suggests a different model, a step up from my current model. He goes back to check. None of those in inventory, either.
Maybe it was my white-knuckle grip on the table, or maybe my flushed cheeks. It was 4 degrees this morning, and yet I felt like it was 80 in the store. I hugged my faded camo coat to me.
Model to model we go, each time the associate growing a bit more anxious like me. I wipe away a tear when we reach the end of the shiny smartphones. None in stock a week before Christmas.
At this point, I am near tears. I feel a panic attack coming on. I explain to the associate how I am just now well enough to start my new job tomorrow, but I must have a smartphone capable of certain things. He goes back to talk to his manager. They spend a lot of time talking and looking across the store at me, sitting in a stool with my head down.
The associate comes back and in says if I agree to new 2- year contract on a new phone, he can send me home with a nice smartphone with just the sales tax. I ask how that can happen, when they are out of all of the models?
He places a brand-new iPhone 7 Plus on the table in front of me. Only thing they've got in stock, he says to me. His manager approved it. Apparently, all the mid-range cell phones were out of stock, and the highest-end and lowest-end ones were the only ones remaining.
I awkwardly hug the associate, who shifts uncomfortably. Sometimes, I am socially inappropriate without meaning to be so. I call him my younger and cuter Santa Clause, which makes him turn red. He shows me how to work the phone.
I wrote this post because I immediately jumped to the worst conclusions this morning, a result of my anxiety. I felt mood swings because of my Bipolar Disorder.
However, I felt I did a rather nice job of keeping myself ordered the day before a new job, with a potential crisis like this. I took a moment to pause, and considered logical steps, instead of completely freaking out as I am wont to do. Normally, I would be a mess and shut down.
My line of thinking today included:
Step 1: What could I do that might fix the phone? What resources were available to me, such as the Internet, that might help me determine the problem?
Step 2: I cannot fix my phone on my own. Where do I go to get answers? I researched and went to the highest-rated ATT store in my area.
Step 3: I remained calm and polite as I possibly could as I explained my problem at the store. If I had gone in raging, I doubt I would have gotten the results I got today. I repeated back the information I was told in the form of options, so I would understand them.
Step 4: When it seemed that I was out of options, I stepped back and tried not to freak out while the associate consulted with his manager about my situation. The situation was resolved, and I have the nicest phone I have ever owned in my lifetime.
I was pretty proud of myself for thinking logically today, and not letting my anxiety and Bipolar Disorder control this situation.
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