Katelyn Nichole Davis Lost Her Battle

First, I would like to start off by saying that I didn't want to read much about Katelyn Davis's suicide, and I certainly didn't want to watch the video out of morbid curiosity. But as I was reading some of the wholly uninformed and sometimes-ignorant comments left under social media posts and news articles about it, the more I felt I had to speak up for her and others like her. Others like me, and others like you or like anyone who suffers from depression.

I wanted to write this blog post to clear up some of the common misconceptions people have about those who commit suicide. I list generic versions of some of the comments I have seen below articles written about Katelyn Davis. What I saw in those comments across the board and across sites was a total lack of understanding of people who suffer from mental illness, and those who die from it. Mental illness has an astonishingly high mortality rate, which we see with this lovely young girl who lost her battle with it a few days ago.

Comment #1: Suicide is a selfish act. You have to think about those around you.

Perhaps it is selfish in some way. I'm not really sure. Do we call someone selfish if they smoke cigarettes and refuse to quit? After all, smoking is guaranteed to have detrimental effects on your health. Lung cancer, heart issues (just to name a few) are all but 100% guaranteed when you smoke. Yet millions and millions smoke anyways, and no one seems to call them selfish about their slow self-destruction. Do we call someone who is obese and refuses to change their habits selfish? Obesity is a huge risk factor for early death, but we don't call them selfish.

When someone commits suicide, the part of their brain that reasons with them about what others will think or what their suicide will do to others around them is overruled by desperation, pain and depression. Their compassion for their loved ones is drowned out by their own brain, yelling at them inside their minds to end it all because there is no hope, and why prolong suffering? The people jumping out of the Twin Towers on 9/11 to certain deaths committed suicide, but we don't call them selfish. They chose to die in a fall rather than burn to death, because they had determined in their own minds that the fall would be less painful and quicker than burning in a fire. We don't call those folks selfish. Why do we constantly criticize people who lose their battle to mental illness, especially depression? This poor girl was suffering internally AND externally with bullying...we shouldn't criticize her for wanting out. She punched her ticket, and it's sad, but is it truly selfish?

Comment #2: So Sad, killing herself over a boy.

Ok, um, FALSE. A) We know she suffered from depression because she had a Youtube channel where she talks about it, and B) we also know she was being bullied by kids at school, who were calling her a whore and other profane things that she mentions in her suicide video. Sure, the boy that she mentions in her last video may have contributed to the emotional breakdown she suffered that ended up in her taking her own life, but depression killed this girl, not a broken relationship. The relationship or end of a relationship or the boy's rejection of her was most likely blown out of proportion in her 12 year-old brain which was already ravaged by depression. Depression takes things that normal people go through and magnifies it one thousand percent. Taking into the fact that she was also being brutally bullied, and she was just a kid. This was not a suicide JUST over a boy. There were many factors in play that contributed to her death.

Comment #3: She did it for attention. Why else would she livestream her suicide?

Oh, for Christ's sake people! I'm soooo sorry she didn't commit suicide in a manner you thought worthy. I begrudgingly watched the video after I read a comment like that because I wanted to see the facts for myself. It's a horrid video, but I was not really bothered too much by it because I was trying to be objective. As I watched it, it became very clear to me that it was a digital suicide note. That's all. I didn't sense she wanted attention at all. With today's technology age, kids are using phones and tablets and computers and social media to express themselves. She livestreamed it so she could probably reach her audience all at once as opposed to writing a bazillion letters or trying to communicate her feelings in an old-fashioned way. Anyways, if you watch the video, she is sobbing profusely and apologizing to everyone under the sun, even to her abusers at school who bullied her. She apologizes to others who have to see the video. It is full of raw, desperate emotion and regret as she goes through her list of people that she apologizes to as she stands on a ladder with a noose around her neck. Her profuse apologies and praying for God to forgive her for taking her own life because she can't see another way....That is not the action of someone who wants attention. That is the act of someone who is genuinely sorry and regretful about something they have done/are going to do.

Now, if we're looking at someone who commits suicide for attention, my cousin is a great example. Back in the 1960s (way before I was born), I had an older, distant cousin who would become angry that people in her life (i.e., her sister, in-laws, parents, etc) were not paying attention to her, and she would threaten suicide. Once everyone dropped everything to fawn over her, she would suddenly recover and be fine. One day, she got angry again, and did her hair and makeup, angrily phoned her sister that she was going to kill herself because no one ever paid her enough attention, and took a bunch of sleeping pills, arranging her hair around the pillows and dying in a dramatic pose on a motel bed. Now that's a selfish suicide, if there is such a distinction.

All of you people out there who rush to judgement over an issue like suicide and depression and you have no freaking clue about it, just keep your mouths shut, or ask questions. Don't pass judgement on Katelyn Davis and her manner of death. Of course, I along with every other person who has heard of this story wishes she was still alive and receiving help. But don't go after this poor girl because her mental illness killed her. Also, as a side note, bullying has got to stop. I don't know if our society is just growing meaner by the generation, but it's absolutely got to be brought under control.

Rest in peace, Katelyn Davis.